I haven’t cried in a long time, but this new guy just told me the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard and tears couldn’t help but come out of my eyes.
He knows my mom died five years ago and he said he wanted to know where was she buried so he could thank her for bringing me to life. Just writing this makes me want to cry and feel the luckiest girl in the world for having him in my life.
He has been so caring, supportive, so sweet that I just can’t believe he exists. He told me he’s afraid of making mistakes with me, but I’m the one who’s going to be destroyed if I make something that can damage our relationship. He told me he’s afraid because I have the power to hurt him, but I’m going to be really hurt if he ever wakes up and decides he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
This is all new, I know, but it doesn’t matter, we can try, we can make it last, we can learn a lot from each other(me more than him, but it’s okay). I haven’t felt like this in such short time, for God’s sake it hasn’t been a month yet and look at me falling for him.
I don’t regret it at all, I don’t regret any minute we have spent together or any conversation we’ve had.
Sometimes I just wonder what does he see on me? What makes him get all crazy about me? What are we going to do? I don’t have the answer of any of those questions, but I’ll figure out as time goes by, because I like being around him, I like his kisses and I like when we make love. I just like everything about him.
I met this guy about a week ago and I like him like we’ve known each other for years. I wanted to take things slow so it can work out, but being with him in his bed, kissing, didn’t help me at all. All I wanted was for him to fuck me the entire night and the fact that he didn’t want at first made me like him even more. This means he respects me and is not just playing around.
People from work didn’t believe he liked me and I don’t know what’s that supposed to mean, but they kept on saying “you need to brush your hair, bla bla bla” and I was like ” I don’t need to pretend to be someone I’m not for a guy to like me, he already likes me and the fact that my hair is all messy is not gonna change that”. They say he’s handsome and another good looking woman can arrive and take him away from him. For some reason I’m not scared, I’m really confident and I trust him. They gotta understand I’m not attracted by what I see, that’s temporal, but I like him because he doesn’t pretend to be someone else and he likes being around me as much as I like it .
He’s really funny and crazy. I can’t even stop smiling when he’s around and I really enjoy spending time with him.
I was laughing so much because he said he wouldn’t have sex with me and when we got completely naked he only said “despite the fact that I’m horny as fuck and completely naked, I don’t think we’re gonna have sex” the thing is that we did have sex and I really liked thinking how weak and sexy this guy is
All I want to do is have a nice time. Meet new people, get drunk, have sex and live my life. I want to make new friends, I want to have a hang over for the first time, I want to be able to have my first orgasm and I want to live a happy life. People say “you only live once” and that’s true, this means live without regrets and live today like there’s no tomorrow. Even though people like saying yolo, they keep on thinking about the future and they are so caught up on it that they can’t enjoy today. I want to be different, I don’t want to spend everyday complaining, I want to be thankful because I’m alive. My goal is to be a good influence for those who stare at me, I want others to trust me when they’re in trouble, I also want others to reach me for a good advise and I want to feel good by doing what I mentioned before.
It just takes 2 seconds after seeing him for me to get crazy and in love with him, it’s kinda compared to the pain women in labor feel yet they forget about the second they hold their babies into their arms. I forget everything he has done to me just by saying hi and looking into his brown eyes.
Why am I such a fool? Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I choose him over my own happiness? Why does it hurt so much?
I’m so sad right now because I’ve always felt strong and I have everything under control, but now I feel so vulnerable, so weak, so powerless and even though I say I won’t talk to him again, here I am talking to him everyday.
People my age shouldn’t be feeling like this, we should feel free and happy because we are young, yet I decide to stay home and think about him when he can be screwing another whore I mean “friend”. I’m so jealous right now and the fact that he knows what makes me jealous so he can do it and tease me with it, makes me like him even more. I think about him more than I should have, but I have to and I will make it stop eventually. This can’t continue to happen. I need to be happy.